Ollie is at stage two of the process. She is observing others, to see how sober would look in her life. Increasing her self-awareness and identifying her cravings now, will all help when she is ready to take action.
Situation: Ollie is looking honestly and observing her own behaviour, she joined the programme and the Facebook group so she is observing how others manage a sober life.
Sober Goal: To quit for 3 months
Why: Ollie wants to be a good role model for her daughter and she hopes to improve her relationship with her partner and her general mental health.
It helps to observe others and see what stage they are at. Seeing others enjoying sober life, helps you believe this is possible for you. It keeps you open to the idea that this could be an amazing choice for you and your loved ones.
Why do you want this?
Ollie has had a couple of scares when she has blacked out and couldn't remember how she got home. She could laugh it off in her younger days, but now it leaves her embarrassed and feeling ashamed.
Ollie worries about her teenage daughter drinking too much, none of the other Mums says anything so she doesn't like to make a fuss. She would hate to upset anyone and she worries people will think she is judging them.
Ollie is a natural worrier, shy and reserved, she wants people to like her. If she isn't worried about her daughter, she is worried about her health, the future or the environment.
After drinking Ollie feels worse, she has tried several times to moderate, but she can't seem to stick to her plan. This leaves her feeling like she has let herself down. Her WHY is because she wants to be a better role model for her daughter and to improve her mental health.
Ollie has a long-term boyfriend; it is a long-distance relationship; he drinks more than she would like him to, he encourages her to drink when she sees him. Ollie hasn't discussed her concerns with him as she only sees him every other weekend, so she doesn't want to ruin the special times when they are together, so instead, she says nothing.
Her reasons to drink are to fit in and to be sociable. She suffers from hangovers and feels anxious for a day or two after a drink, so she tries not to drink too often.
Ollie should be aiming to have open and honest conversations with the people in her life.
If she follows the programme, she will learn what she wants and as she stays true to her own values, the people who love her will respect her for that.