Part Seven - The Camping Trip

The day had arrived we checked the weather, packed the car and we were ready for the long drive.

Planning and packing for camping when you are both six weeks sober is a dream.

This was going to be our first social sober event and we were going camping, it was like the honeymoon period was back with tickle fights and snuggles, as we gazed into the eyes of each other not one of them, was bloodshot or puffy!!!

We were just like Danny and Sandy on the opening credits of Grease.

It was perfect.

He erected the tent as he always does and I smugly unpacked the super organised by two sober grown-ups clean car!

I was excited to see our friends, I imagined when and who would discover our soberness first, how we would react and what we would say...

First, let me explain about my other half so you understand.

He is the silent type and I must point out that at NO point had he EVER said he would not drink alcohol on this trip yet my rose-tinted sober specs did a lot of presuming so he looked as shocked as I did when I saw him with a bottle of RUM!

W.T.F my sober superhero is now aiming to be a drunk old sailor!!!

After a few confusing minutes, I established that the sober camping trip had been a figment of my own glass is half full imagination...

He was drinking and I was the crazy lady who clearly had the wrong end of the stick. Shite! I was flying solo.

The best way to describe how I felt was a bit like if you had waited months for a donor and they changed their mind about going ahead with the life-saving operation and giving you the vital organ that they had spare.

Honest, I was gutted!

We sat around the fire.

I had a mug of tea. no one noticed, some people were drinking and others weren't.

It was no big deal but I felt like my cup of tea had a flashing sign saying look at me I am a cup of tea. I am not sure if I wanted attention for my grit and determination or if I wanted the ground to swallow me up.

I felt very uncomfortable.

I sat it out until 10 pm.

I had drunk two little tins of tonic and I was freezing, suddenly everyone was on repeat mode. I hoped things were coming to a natural end and it was almost time to call it a night. Someone shouted who wants another drink? I stood up and said I am off to bed - a little louder than I had planned.

"Oh stay and have a drink, I have prosecco", said, my friend. as if it was forbidden fruit.

The way she said it to entice me made me feel sad.

The lump in my throat was still choking me as I zipped up my sleeping bag.

The cackles and giggles from the fire pit were deafening but soon I was asleep.

I love the smell of camping bacon and the heat of the tent from the morning sun. I was smiling inside before I even opened my eyes the sound of the tent zips opening as the hungover stirred from their tents but I was fresh and ready for the day ahead.

I stretched and said out loud "Today I will climb a mountain"

I had no idea at the time but the pride I felt is at the top of that mountain inspired me to change my whole life.

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